He's Just Not That Into You (12A)

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HOLD ME, THRILL ME, KISS ME: Jennifer Aniston & Ben Affleck

FILM reviews normally kick off with a plot summary.

And I hope for your sake, dear readers, that you've got your minds in gear for this one.

Because the set-up for He's Just Not That Into You is a bewildering, 12-sided chick-flick-a-hedron, which you need two X chromosomes or an advanced maths degree to work out.

So you may want to keep a pencil handy-either to take notes, draw a diagram or poke your own brain to bits through your nostril when it stops making sense.

Ready? OK. Here goes . . .

There's a guy who fancies Scarlett Johansson, and she in turn is having an affair with a bloke who's married to Jennifer Connelly.

NOT JENS: Scarlett & Drew

Jennifer works with Jennifer and Ginnifer, that's (a) Jennifer Aniston-whose long-term boyfriend Ben Affleck (who's pals with Scarlett's affair man) won't propose; and (b) Ginnifer Goodwin, who goes on a nightmare blind date with the first guy.

His girlfriend-that's ScarJo, remember?-is friends with Drew Barrymore, who's trying to "pick up a guy on MySpace" (hello, script written in 2005), and who also knows this bar manager who spends the film giving dating advice to Jennifer. Uh, I mean Jennifer. No, Ginnifer.

And like I said, that's just the set-up. Which should give you some idea why this film is more than two hours long.

ALL BY MYSELF: A miserable single Jen

It sounds like an oestrogen-pumped horror show-the infernal creation of a horn-headed Sex And The City demon from the ninth circle of cack-film hell.

But mercifully, He's Just Not That Into You is a far cry from that.

And that's because the way this tangled set-up pans out is oddly believable.

Problem is, in Hollywood when romance is on the menu realism goes out the window.

Cos in real life nobody ever professes undying love in the middle of Fifth Avenue surrounded by a cheering crowd. Yet it happens at the end of every other romcom.

HJNTIY, on the other hand, goes for plausibility all the way.

The cheating husband (Bradley Cooper) isn't a two-faced, slobbering scumbag -he's a likeable bloke who screws up. Ditto Scarlett. She's an insecure flirt rather than an evil temptress.

And Ben Affleck-that heartless sod who won't put a ring on Jen's finger? He's probably the best boyfriend in the film.

Inevitably there are a couple of the milder Great Chick Flick Lies in there.

Specifically: No28-every woman works in a bright, open-plan office with seven bajillion gays; and No44-a single, straight man will turn down no-strings sex with a hot woman.

Both of which we could have done without -along with the big romantic finish being soundtracked by ruddy KEANE, for crying out loud.

However, as chick flicks go, these are minor infringements. And compared with all-hairbrush-singing, all-drunken-dancing dignity pyres such as Bride Wars, this is a class act all the way.

So, gentlemen, count yourselves lucky. As this year's highest-profile Valentine's Day drag-along, HJNTIY could have been so much worse.

I mean, think of the alternatives. The chick-flick sequels that nobody wants but will no doubt ruin many February 14ths to come, like:

• What Happens In Blackpool (Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher's honeymoon flight gets diverted);
• The Other Other Boleyn Girl (man-hungry quantum physicist Kate Hudson travels back in time to Tudor England, with wacky results); and
• One I wouldn't actually mind seeing-PPS I Was Humping Your Mate (the PS I Love You girl gets the wrong letter).

So, for now, I'm more than happy to make do with this-a smart, savvy, reasonably amusing romantic drama that has everything a girl could want in a V-Day movie but doesn't forget about the menfolk in the audience either.

It's got wit, charm, and a genuinely engaging plot.

Oh yes, and a scene where Scarlett Johansson goes skinny dipping. Which, y'know, always helps . . . OUT NOW

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