Zack and Miri make a porno (18)

RATING: ****

LASER swords, time-travelling cars, giant chocolate factories staffed by singing orange midgets. We've all got a list of favourite movie fantasies that could never happen in real life.

But without doubt, the number one on mine is Seth Rogen's continued success with the ladies.

Cos in every second film released this year, this wheezing tub o' lard lands one of the most attractive women in the galaxy.

In Knocked Up it was Katherine Heigl. Pineapple Express, Amber Heard. And in this new comedy from slacker supremo Kevin Smith, it's Elizabeth Banks.

Lifelong pals Zack (Rogen) and Miri (Banks) fall on hard times so they decide to make a quick, er, buck, by writing, directing and starring in their own skin flick.

What begins as a smutty Star Wars parody -Zack plays Hung So-low-turns into a filthy no-budget romp filmed in the local coffee shop. And their movie's title, scenes and script are all way too mucky to describe in a reputable film column (or even this one).

ZAMMAP's the filthiest film I've seen all year. Fortunately, it's also one of the funniest, and fans of Kevin Smith's legendary dialogue will not be disappointed.

At its heart, Zack And Miri is a sweet story about how sex changes friendship. But more importantly, there's near endless nudity and a VERY impressive trick performed by a real life porn star with a bottle of bubble mixture. Hope you're watching, Mark Wahlberg. Cos THAT'S talent.

OUT FRIDAY

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