Get poor Katie Price the hell out of there
WEEK 1 of I'M A CELEBRITY 2009 and the jungle has been dominated by one thing: Katie Price's desire for "closure".
Yeah? So do I. Closure of her bloody phoneline.
Fact is, she shouldn't be in there. For two main reasons.
One, putting an ex-contestant back in is usually formaticide for a reality show. Who'd have thought I'm A Celeb would ever be floundering in the same ideas oblivion as Big Brother and Celebrity Love Island?
And two, she's clearly unstable. How could she not be after the year she's had?
Yes, she is a shameless publicity whore who has happily and regularly sold her life to the highest bidder.
And yes, we may have expressed mild surprise during Friday's Bushtucker Trial when she claimed to be afraid of "the unknown in the hole".
But she doesn't deserve this. And you get the feeling nobody is in control of this situation. Not ITV, not Katie and certainly not the jealous, spiteful Team Andre cretins who keep voting for her.
It doesn't make for great viewing. Our Light Entertainment hosts Ant and Dec are clearly uncomfortable with it. And it smacks of the same attitude ITV show to the likes of John and Edward.
Sod Duty Of Care. This is Duty Of Couldn't Care Less. Exploit them to within an inch of their sanity then leg it when the fallout hits.
Still, I wish Katie all the best. And if ITV do push her over the edge I'm sure they'll have the rights to the funeral already sewn up.
But, in terms of the show, it will be a real shame if she stays any longer. Because after a first week which began with me glancing at the cast list and asking, "Yeah, but they're gonna put the real line-up in soon, right?" it now has the potential to be a classic year.
Yes, driftwood such as reality show veterans Lucy and Sam, pointless eye candy Stuart and whispering wallflower Jimmy White need cutting loose.
And yes, the producers need to inject the so-so, so what? Bushtucker Trials with the same levels of entertainment the Celebrity Chests have been providing this year.
All we'd need then is the addition of a Cannon & Ball/ Timmy Mallet fun figure, and a genuine hate figure who would thrive on the hatred.
Cos while there's no doubting Joe Bugner (boxing name The Pug-Faced Pugilist?) is a belligerent old fossil, sticking him in just so ITV can play the sexist/racist/homophobic card is a little bit obvious, a trifle tired and a tad unfair.
As for who can win it, I'm going to stick my neck out and give Gino D'Acampo the vote. Mainly because he has provided the two biggest shocks of the week. Firstly, he defied my rule that the person whose posing and preening in the opening credits makes you shout "bellend!" the loudest deserves to be evicted first.
Then he shocked the world by correctly naming the seventh track on Mis-Teeq's Greatest Hits album. (Although, to be fair, the bigger shock was that there are actually more than six tracks on there.)
Elsewhere? Kim Woodburn (Patsy Kensit in ten five years) has turned out just like How Clean Is Your House? She was quite funny at first but she's quickly turned repetitive, contrived and flippin' irritating.
George Hamilton is already a nailed-on nice guy third placer. Colin needs Justin to fall on his sword to have any chance of winning. And Sabrina can take comfort from the fact that she is by far the sexiest lady in there this year (Second? On balance, Kim.)
Which means the only question left to ponder (apart from "this year's ITV2 spin-off show - what the fuh?") is a delicate one, but it needs dealing with now before it's too late.
Namely: How come ITV can splash out £350k to bring Katie Price back yet won't cough up the measly ten grand or so it would take to bring back the one thing which all compassionate, kind-hearted viewers would love to see return.
Declan Donelly's hair.
PS: To all those people complaining about cruelty to horses. I don't remember you being that bothered when Janet Street-Porter was in there suffering.
A PERFECT tribute to Karen Carpenter's memory at ITV1's CELEBRATING THE CARPENTERS. Cos, Dionne Warwick and Beverly Knight's performances apart, it made me want to bring my dinner back up.
Fact is, someone should have paraphrased one of the duo's most famous lyrics the minute this idea was first mooted.
Stop! Oh yes, wait a minute Mr Commissioner Man...
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This article has 23 comments
IAN HYLAND AND TONY PARSONS ARE THE ONLY 2 JOURNOS WHO SEEM TO BE FAIR AND GET THE PICTURE, THEY DO NOT FALL FOR PETE AND HIS MANAGEMENTS 'GAMEPLAN' GOOD ON YA BOYS. KATIE HAS MORE GUTS THAN ALL THOSE BULLYS OUT THERE.
By A.. Posted November 23 2009 at 10:03 AM.
go if you want you deluded woman it wasnt compulsory you went in to I am a celebrity you got 350,000 YAWN YAWN money doesnt get class.
By liz.. Posted November 22 2009 at 10:23 PM.
Have the general public got nothing better to do than keep voteing for the Katie! OK so she's not a perfect Mother,Wife or Role Model for our Daughters but at least shes got guts, putting herself right back in the public eye! I for one think enoughs enough, give the other contestents a chance to prove they can do something as well!!!!!
By Kerry.. Posted November 22 2009 at 8:31 PM.
Most people are sick of the sight of Katie Price so they're voting for her to do the bush tucker trials to get their own back. I know I am.
By Jeff Brown.. Posted November 22 2009 at 7:39 PM.
Lets be honest all this going in the jungle for "closure" is rubbish. surley six months apart and a divorce paper is enough proof its over............ this poor insecure girl is still so in love with her ex its almost pitiful, her new boy toy alex is one mug and must know he is being used. Lets hope she says yes to his marraige proposal and they go live happily far far away.
By ally.. Posted November 22 2009 at 7:16 PM.
i think its really sad that the public keep doing this how do we get to know the other cebs if they do nothing it cant be left to one person its unfair and its over with peter andre now if people gave her a break then she could show her true clours and we get the really katie agin
By sam mcleod .. Posted November 22 2009 at 6:25 PM.
did anybody know peter andre before he stalked and pursude jordan on get me out ,the first time. he is just a sad little village boy from cyprus, a no body, living off jordans fame and in the begining money
By j d rooney.. Posted November 22 2009 at 6:18 PM.
i am no fan of hers, but can nobody else see that inside Jordon there is a sad n very lonley Katie price desprate 4 love.
By mandie.. Posted November 22 2009 at 6:06 PM.
I am Team Price, I think she is doing an excellent job. Peter left her, it wasnt her choice. I think people need to realise he isnt the saint he makes out he is. 0k I She is a very clever business woman and if I was offered £350 I would go in the jungle.
By nicola.. Posted November 22 2009 at 5:42 PM.
Leave her alone ! god there's some spiteful horrible people out their, OK she's not my most favourite person but jesus they've put her through enough now. ITV get a grip and stop this now, it's cruel.
By Tommie.. Posted November 22 2009 at 5:17 PM.
the pubilc are letting her now what they think cos shes doing all the trails they are sick of her and why should she get payed more then the rest of them she should give it to all the people who have had to leave there homes
By dawn spurs.. Posted November 22 2009 at 3:03 PM.
She has overdone the botox on her lips, now she couldn't even close them properly, good for creepy crawlies to crawl into her mouth.
By mari.. Posted November 22 2009 at 1:02 PM.
I HOPE KATIE PRICE WINS IM A CELEBRITY THIS YEAR, SHE GETS ON WITH ALL THE CAMP MATES HAS DONE BRILLIANT IN THE TRIALS AND HAS MADE THE SHOW THIS YEAR. ALL THE TEAM ANDRE VOTERS HAVE SHOWN THERE TRUE COLOURS, THEY ARE BULLIES AND FULL OF HATRED, THEY NEED THERAPY POOR THINGS, PETER IS A LOSER, KATIE DID NOTHING WRONG IN THEIR MARRIAGE, ITS PETERS FAULT FOR BEING INSECURE AND JEALOUS OF KATIES CAREER, HE DID NOTHING BUT HANG AROUND THE HOUSE GETTING BORED WHILST KATIE WORKED HARD TO SUPPORT HER FAMILY. ALSO ANDRE FANS PETER MOVED STRAIGHT IN WITH KATIE AFTER COMING OUT THE JUNGLE WHEN SHE HAD HARVEY BUT NO ONE MINDS THAT SO WHATS THE DIFFERENCE WITH ALEX. GET A LIFE YOU SAD ANDRE FANS ITS GREAT YOU ARE GIVING KATIE LOTS OF PUBLICITY I HOPE SHE MAKES LOADS OF MONEY FROM IT, ALSO POOR NICOLA MCLEAN IS EATEN UP WITH JEALOUSY SHE SNARLES WHEN ANYONE MAKES A NICE COMMENT ABOUT KATIE, SHE SO WANTS TO BE HER, BUT NICOLA IN THE JUNGLE WAS VILE, NASTY AND A FLOP, NEVER MIND NASTY NOSEY CLAIRE (CAN MANAGEMENT) CAN MAKE AN EVEN BIGGER FAILURE OF WHAT YOU ALREADY ARE.
By sally smith.. Posted November 22 2009 at 12:58 PM.
I agree with you Mr. Hyland, everyone seems to forget that Andre disappeared into obscurity and he looks like Anthony Womble Thompson. People are sat on internet forums and on social networking sites, spitting bile about Katie Price, but none of them know fully what happened in her relationship with Andre, I for one would have been bored within a week, living with him, he seems a bit wet.
Sad thing is they wonn't stop voting to put her in these trials, in fact they are probably all so bitter and twisted about it, that their phone bills are rocketting and they don't even take much notice of the rest of the camp, anyone would think Katie had murdered someone, the way they carry on.
People in this country are so quick to think the worse of people and jump on the popular topic just to get more followers on Twitter, it's ridiculous, but yes, it's mainly sad, fat housewives who love Peter Andre and his lame music. Insignificant people, upsetting a woman they are jealous of, because they can't ever be his Mysterious Girl
By Marie.. Posted November 22 2009 at 10:44 AM.
HER LIPS NEED SOME SERIOUS ATTENTION!!
I LIKE NICOLA MCLEAN, SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS HAD THE GUTS TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD SHE DOESNT LIKE HER, GOOD FOR YOU NICOLA, ITS A SHAME THE REST OF THE MEDIA, TV AND MAGS CANT DO THE SAME AND PUT SOMETHING ON TV AND IN THE MAGS WORTH READING AND WATCHING.
JORDAN SHOULD DONATE ALL HER FEE TO A WORTHWHILE CAUSE................LIKE THE CUMBRIANS WHO HAVE LOST EVERYTHING XXXXXXX
RIP TO THE PC WHO LOST HIS LIFE XXXXXXXX
By linda.. Posted November 22 2009 at 9:39 AM.
I have to laugh when people say they feel sorry for Katie - she has done it all before she doesn't have to be there, she can walk out, she will not die from any trail and she will not lose her home and end up on the streets if she chooses not to do it. £350,000 for 3 weeks work!! Poor Katie!!!
By Alison.. Posted November 22 2009 at 12:16 AM.
ITV and Katie Price know what they are doing remember this is Katie's 2nd time. I think it is the public that are being taken for a ride, I will not watch it now as I think it was all planned from the start so people shouldn't blame Peter's fans for the votes. I wanted to see the rest of the group in action but that isn't going to happen now.
By Alison.. Posted November 22 2009 at 12:05 AM.
Derek - you say that X Factor ratings went through the floor. In fact, X Factor pulled in 14.1m viewers last week - it's highest viewing figures ever. if you want to turn off if Katie Price keeps getting voted to do the trials that's fine but please don't think all of the viewing public agree with you. Personally I neither like KP or watch the show but I am sick to the back teeth of seeing her in the pages of every newspaper selling her soul (and her lurid love life) to the highest bidder.
By Kate.. Posted November 21 2009 at 11:56 PM.
She negotiated the HUGE fee she is receiving, so therefore knew exactly what she was signing up for. Maybe if she had donated the whole amount to charity, people would believe she was doing this with the best intentions, sadly she lives and breathes for publicity, so don't blame ITV, look to Katie herself...
By alydia.. Posted November 21 2009 at 11:04 PM.
I admire Katie for going through her second time in, but I also think it`s very unfair that the producers are allowing this farce, where she is doing every ordeal.
I know that we say "it`s the public who decide, but they need to introduce a rule that whenenver a celebrity does a task, they are automatically exempt from the next one, up to now all the other celebrities are getting off scott free at her expense. I have just watched tonights show and I said to my wife if she gets picked again, I am going to puill the plug on watching this. It`s getting as bad as the Jedward saga on X factor. We have already lost interest in that, are the producers just going to stand back and let this poor woman do every one of these stunts. GET HER OUT OF THERE if thats going to be the case, otherwise we are outa there. And I dont think we are alone on that, remember X factor ratings went through the floor.
By Derek.. Posted November 21 2009 at 10:58 PM.
ITV could have easily controlled this by saying after two trials a contestant is exempt. Why haven't they because they are getting dosh from the phone-lines. If you read the forums majority of folks are totally sick & tired of Katie doing the trials.
BUT Katie knew she was going to be doing all the trials - she said so. So don't feel any sympathy at all. Who is voting - who knows but it is too simplistic to say it is Andre fans. Fact is the vast majority of UK just want her to go away. Many would say the same about Peter.
Katie is being exploited by ITV and she has severe problems but is in total denial. Anybody can see that. Peter knows that & I'm sure there is a lot more 'serious' stuff he could say but all he can do is keep the kids safe & be there for them when she implodes. Which she will.
By Lynne.. Posted November 21 2009 at 11:36 PM.
People love watching Katie Price, she's phenominal,
perhaps it's not the 'haters'?
Katie is the star of the show and she is giving money that she earns from the show to charity.
I wish Katie to win, but the 'haters' will probably vote for someoneelse.
By ANNA.. Posted November 21 2009 at 11:08 PM.
i really believe this girl needs some serious help!
By sarah.. Posted November 21 2009 at 10:15 PM.