Ice hopefuls must Quinn & bear it
SHOWBIZ revelation of the year at DANCING ON ICE last Sunday as Nicky Slater dropped this sensational gossip bomb:
"Duncan James gave me a special moment with an umbrella."
Nicky, Nicky, Nicky.
Did no one ever tell you what happens on the Dancing On Ice Tour stays on tour?
Only kidding. Of course.
It was actually props night. For sheer comedy value, always my favourite night of this show. Made extra special this year when Holly Willoughby asked this question: "Who made best use of their props tonight?"
Because with you in that dress, Holly, there was only ever going to be one answer. But I wouldn't recommend booking in at Hair By Miss Piggy again any time soon, luv.
Anyway, those other props. According to my cliché count at least five of them had "a mind of their own."
Which put them roughly 4.5 minds ahead of that judging panel. Who, with the occasionally notable exception of Jason Gardiner, have cravenly fallen in with the official party line.
What do you mean you didn't know there was an official party line? Let's see if I can help you out. It's:
WE MUST TRY AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THERE'S AT LEAST A CHANCE RAY QUINN MIGHT NOT WIN.
Don't believe me? Well, explain that hat to me, then. Because what show-stopping spectacular was professional Scouser Ray meant to conjure up with "daddat"? Assuming, of course, a mass Oddjob-style decapitation of the entire judging panel (Henshall first) had been ruled out on health and safety (but not moral) grounds.
He couldn't have been more stitched up if they'd given him Todd Carty to use as a prop. Honestly, if he wasn't still such a smug git I might even feel sorry for him if the unthinkable does happen come final night.
But surely it won't.
Because no matter how much everyone bigs up "the incredible progress of Donal McIntyre" he still looks like an anorexic Gary Barlow chasing an Ice Road burger van.
No matter how strong the HRT vote gets for Coleen Nolan, the very fact that it's the HRT vote means it could blow up in her face at any time (trust me, all she has to do is put her mug on the coffee table without a coaster and she's toast.)
And, no matter how much Zoe Salmon courts the Blue Peter vote, she still has that uncanny knack of turning you right off her in an instant (or as Tony Gubba put it, "she never stops smiling.")
As for Jessica Taylor? Well, she skates beautifully and she looks a million dollars. But as Robin Cousins pointed out, she'll always suffer because of her inability to "finish off properly with her hand."
Afraid I can't help you there, Jess. But I'm pretty sure Jason could give you a few pointers.
Well, what with him being a choreographer.
NB1: Query re that "devastating hand injury" which is apparently threatening to keep Coleen out of tonight's show. Is the nail chipped or broken, Col?
NB2: Re Fern Britton saying she has "one eye on the Donal." Aye. And the other one on the donut, eh Fern?
Read more from Ian Hyland in this week's print edition of the News of the World.
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This article has 4 comments
well i think ray should win he has worked really hard and no way is he not gonna get my vvote i loooooooove him i loved him ever since x factor he is only the best
By charlotte.. Posted March 22 2009 at 5:11 PM.
I think Donal should Win!Each week he is learning something new;it's a pleasure to watch his progress!Also he is really cool,nice guy.
YOU ALL :VOTE DONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By emile.. Posted March 11 2009 at 4:00 PM.
RAY DOES NOT DESERVE TO WIN....IT HAS NOT BEEN A FAIR COMPETITION FROM THE START!!!
HOPE DONAL WINS OR EVEN COLEEN OVER RAY!!
HA HA RUTHIE ZOE IS OUT!!!!
By cravena.. Posted March 8 2009 at 10:02 PM.
I think the last thing that Ray is, is smug. He is so focused and hard working, and is very hard on himself. He flippin well deserves to win. He's only 20 for Gods sake, and my prediction is that he will be a massive hit what ever he does. He's a total showman, and will be a great here and abroad.
By Sylvie.. Posted March 8 2009 at 6:50 PM.