WHEN The Husband and I took Mum and Dad to the Lakes for their 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago, we went on a boat trip round Lake Windermere.

On the boat I noticed my dad, who'd been brought up in a North-East mining town, staring at a group of Japanese tourists. When I asked why, he said: "It's true what they say, isn't it."

"What is?" I said. "They all look similar," he said.

The Husband and I were horrified, and immediately told him to shut up because he was being racist.

He was shocked and upset at our reaction mainly because he didn't understand it, and because he hadn't meant to be offensive.

When I thought about it later, I realised my dad, then 73-who'd never met a black, Asian or Japanese person in his life- had just been making an observation about a group of people he had no knowledge or experience of.

He wasn't being racist. He didn't hate those people or think he was superior to them. In fact, in our village my dad's reputation was that of always speaking out against bullies-fighting them if he had to.

Now, I've met Wendy Richard a few times and I didn't much like her, largely because she always has a face on her like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

However the furore over what she said about Big Brother evictee Kat Kasisopa has been blown out of proportion to the point of farce.

Richard has been branded a racist because when she was talking about how Kat's face never registered emotion, she said: "What is it they say about those inscrutable Chinese? And she is Thai but it's all oriental, isn't it? Well, it is to me."

OK-what she said was daft. But was it REALLY racist? Or did she just sound like someone's granny saying the wrong thing and not really knowing why?

Do people truly imagine Wendy Richard hates Chinese or Thai people? And should she have been pilloried in this way for making a mistake?

I don't think calling someone an Oriental is a racist slur-except of course if it's done in the silly season and the papers have nothing else to write about.

The definition of a racist is a "white supremacist or jingoist, someone who hates people of other races and believes themselves to be superior to those races".

So is that what Wendy Richard is? I don't think so. She's just a 65-year-old woman who appeared on Big Brother's Little Brother-a programme that is way too hip for her-and got a bit flustered. Yes, what she said might have miffed some people, but it's hardly BNP-esque or deserving of the kind of reaction that it's had.

But that reaction IS indicative of what British society now perceives racism to be.

Because now, any remark-rude or otherwise-aimed at a black or Asian person can be construed as racist. But if I'm rude to an Asian person it doesn't necessarily mean I'm racist-it just means I'm rude.

And this is where the lines have become blurred. In the workplace if a black or Asian person doesn't get a job they can claim it's on the grounds of race, when the truth is they just might not have been good enough.

Tarique Ghaffur is suing the Metropolitan Police for £2 million because he says they're being racist in not promoting him-when I suspect the real reason is because he's a pain in the ass who spends too much time on self-promotion and not enough on his job.

But accusations of racism in Britain are all too often used as weapons to settle scores or get compensation.

"Pulling the race card" is a phrase now ingrained in the English language for the simple reason it happens.

And it's dangerous because it means that people forget what REAL racism is about, because they're so frustrated and disillusioned by countless stories of black and Asian people being favoured on the grounds of loony political correctness.

The fact is, this amazing little island of ours is one of THE most racially tolerant in the world, but it's becoming increasingly less so because of the lunacy, the cowardice and the idiocy of some of our institutions too terrified to take a stand for what is right-for fear of being branded racist.

If Wendy Richard had called any of the BB contestants fat, ugly or stupid (far more insulting than being called an Oriental) no one would have batted an eyelid.

And if she still had a big career in television, it would be in tatters by now.

We live in a multi-cultural society, which is why we cannot be in a position where our words are policed and where people and organisations are waiting to pounce the minute we make an unintentional mistake.

Because THAT breeds resentment-and it's a short step from that to REAL racism.

LILY OH SO SILLY

LILY Allen, who got shambolically drunk while presenting the GQ Awards, has been boasting she'd "like to f***" 82-year-old Tony Bennett-who was presented with the Inspiration Award.

Well, that of course is assuming the Colossus that is Bennett has the vaguest idea who she is, and gets turned on by talentless, foul-mouthed, silly little girls who aren't good enough to even grace his backing band.

It's time Ms Allen realised that with her meagre talent and overinflated idea of her own importance, it's only a matter of time before the people employing her realise the kind of publicity she brings isn't the kind they want.

VOICE OF A LOSER

CHARLOTTE Church, who's made a career of slagging off Cheryl Cole (what could she have against the drop-dead gorgeous, incredibly successful singing star, I wonder?), now says she's a failure as an X Factor judge.

"Cheryl's proved she's got no backbone," she says. "X Factor needed someone with wit and grit." What, someone like her? Do backbone, wit and grit mean shouting at people, saying f*** every five seconds and generally behaving like a sink-estate trollop?

Charlotte's chatshow is proof she is woefully lacking in wit and grit. It's cringe-making, it's amateurish, Church can't interview for toffee and when she sings with the "stars" it shows just how average her voice is these days.

Oh yes, and X Factor gets 11 million viewers while Charlotte's show gets 1.6 million.

I think I see her problem!

A CLIFF HANGER

CLIFF Richard has written his autobiography, My Life, My Way, which doesn't address the much asked question about his sexuality.

He talks about his "companion" of the last seven years, John McElynn.

He says he doesn't like living alone, but still he dodges the issue of whether he's gay or straight, saying: "I'm sick to death of the media's speculation about it. What business is it of anyone else? I don't think my fans would care either way."

In which case why can't he just be up front with them and say "I'm gay" or "I'm not"?

Because the very fact he's been so coy about it all these years suggests he thinks it might VERY much affect them and maybe even his record sales. And isn't it a bit of a cop out to write an autobiography and not be open with the people who've paid good money to read the truth about his life?

If Cliff IS gay, I can't begin to imagine the strain of not feeling able to "come out" in a society where homosexuality is now no big deal.

But never mind what his fans will think-doesn't Cliff owe it to himself to be truthful about exactly who he is?