What a Relief it gave us a laugh

By Ian Hyland, 15/03/2009

AMAZING generosity at COMIC RELIEF 2009 as Davina McCall bid £50 for a kiss from David Tennant.

A bountiful, beautiful gesture for sure.

But I can't help thinking how much more she would have shelled out for the cameraman not to film her cellulite during the resultant snog bundle.

Anyway, this year's effort. They sure showed me, didn't they?

A few weeks back I suggested their Do Something Funny For Money slogan should be changed to Do Something Funny For Once.

And, sketchwise at least, they delivered.

It's not every two years you can say there were at least ten (intentional) laugh-out-loud moments on Red Nose Night.

Shocker

But, with the exception of the shouty, overexposed James Corden and that rather overlong Mamma Mia skit from French & Saunders, most of the sketches were out of the top two drawers.

Robbie Williams headed the shocking list. Escaping his hermitage for one night only, he achieved something David Walliams and Matt Lucas had failed to achieve in six episodes of Little Britain USA: A genuine belly laugh.

And just behind Robbie? It's our old friend Ricky Gervais. Massively aided (we must assume) by Stephen Merchant, Gervais somehow managed to pull his head out of his backside for long enough to produce an almost smug-free peach of a sketch - topped off by Louis Walsh naked in a hot tub doing a pretty faultless impression of a gay, predatory boyband boss. (No, I never imagined Louis would have it in him, either.)

Add to that yet more brilliant work from the Outnumbered team, a fine combined effort from Armstrong & Miller and Mitchell & Webb, Kate Moss doing her first funny lines since splitting with Pete Doherty, and Paul Whitehouse and Harry Enfield's Victorian Dragons Den (special mention for Deborah Meaden for being such a good sport in the face of Enfield's utterly brutal impression).

Then Catherine Tate's best character, Cockney Nan, brought the house down around midnight ("Comic Relief? Whadda load of sh*t!").

Even Al Murray suggested there could be life after his current sketch show malaise with a character called "Pub Landlord". (I liked him, Al. You should do him more.)

Plus, we had the news that Lenny Henry wasn't able to host the show because he was playing Othello in Yorkshire (and while he was The Moor we were certainly the merrier.)

And yet. There was something sadly lacking in that studio. Because, with the exception of Jonathan Ross escaping that ruddy desk to roll back the years, most of the anchors left with bloody noses.

Mainly, I might humbly suggest, because they are so evidently not comedians.

McCall and Tennant's shouty opening act was by far the worst. A combined age of 78, yet they insisted on jumping around like two demented 1980s kids presenters (honestly I couldn't look at Tennant without thinking "total Cant"- Brian Cant, that is).

Meanwhile, in style news, it was a big shout for Claudia Winkleman's Ethiopian chic, but a big no-no to Fern Britton (the bag lady in red.)

The normally reliable Graham Norton must also accept a minus point for ruthlessly plugging his West End show. (Do something funny for ticket sales, Graham?)

Other letdowns? Alan Sugar's boardroom deification of Jonathan Ross (the old pals act lives on in White City.)

Fiona Phillips, Patsy Palmer and Gok Wan failing to show for The Apprentice's reunion. (Red Nose Out Of Joint Day?)

And Sienna Miller coming across as a charming and talented actress in the Mamma Mia spoof. (Grrrr.)

No doubting my personal highlight of the night though. Simon Cowell's voiceover. Because I suddenly realised he sounds just like Gok Wan-only camper. (Honestly, all I need from him in the next X Factor is one "Girlfriend, you are so going to bootcamp!" and I'll die happy.)

And speaking of dying happy, the night ended on a high for one of the guest stars, Moscow penalty king John Terry, with the news they'd raised enough money to buy a million malaria nets.

That's right. A million nets.

Surely even JT could put a ball in one of them.

NB. No column for two weeks. Louis Walsh has invited me over to Dublin. Something about a new hot tub. All being well I'll see you back here April 5th.

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Your comments

This article has 13 comments

You do realize the Pub Landlord character has been around for an eternity, even having a sitcom on Sky One based around it years ago?

By Tarby.. Posted March 26 2009 at 5:41 AM.

I gave more this year than ever before and I didn't even watch the show. Reason? Can't stand McCall, Britton (thats Big Britton AND Little Britain), the Weird, sorry, Royle Family and lastly Lenny (old man Decos is the only funny thing I've ever done) Henry. Imagine how gutted I was to find out he wasn't even on!

By Markus.. Posted March 22 2009 at 1:55 PM.

I have to disagree with your remarks about the opening presenters. David Tennant was great - a bit hyper, true - but he did the job well, was very easy on the eye for the ladies and a great draw for the kids and all the fans. Perhaps you would have preferred it had he done deadpan in Received Pronounciation and in Shakespearian dress? Naw - c'mon it's Comic Relief, for Heaven's sake - surely even you can crack a smile before the watershed.

By Shadowfax.. Posted March 19 2009 at 10:10 PM.

dreadful night, dull dull dull

By Sandra.. Posted March 17 2009 at 11:30 AM.

"There was something sadly lacking in that studio" really? From my vantage point, which happened to be IN the studio, there didn't seem to be much lacking at all.

Davina and David made a great pair, full of enthusiam and energy, just what they needed to kick start the show. I admit I didn't quite understand the pairing of Alan and Fern. I love them individually but as a pair they didn't seem to fit. David and Davina weren't acting up for the cameras, they genuinely are this way (as I can attest to, having seen them mucking about behind the scenes on Friday night).

Jonathan and Claudia worked well together, though I personally didn't like her dress (it was pretty and all, but I've seen her in better). I thought Davina's was gorgeous and Jonathan looked very smart (ironic to see Jonathan be "out flashed" by David!)

I thought the worst sketch of the night was Ricky Gervais. I just dont find the man funny.

By Nicola.. Posted March 17 2009 at 9:29 AM.

Well personally I found Comic Relief very funny, though having read your review I have to say that the idea of you being Britain's 'best' tv critic is the most laughable thing of all!

By Claire.. Posted March 15 2009 at 8:28 PM.

I watched Friday nights Comic Relief, and would just like to say that of all the presenters I think David Tennant was the best, he came across as likable, and genuine. Not self obsessed, gushy or full of himself. I thought that he and Davina were perfect for the start of the evening's entertainment.

By deb.. Posted March 15 2009 at 8:19 PM.

I watched it all and wished we had anything half as good here in Aus! Tennant was an inspired choice as presenter - he's a natural comic and a charismatic presence. Stop moaning and recognise the man's talent!

By Elizabeth.. Posted March 15 2009 at 8:15 PM.

You are deluded! Little Britain's sketch was awful, so awful I can not describe! All the rest was ok, there was nothing special about it. French and Saunders' sketch was long, but still on top of that Little Britian muck! The Gavin and Stacy sketch was funny although we had seen it all in pieces before Friday night, but it wiped the floor with that Little Britian embarrassment. The Royal Family's sketch was short and predicable, but it kicked the arse off that Little Britian rubbish! You should be fired!

By James.. Posted March 15 2009 at 6:32 PM.

Well, seeing as they raised the biggest sum yet the presenting couldn't have been that bad. I personally loved all of the presenting, especially David Tennant and Davina McCall - they had great chemistry and generated a LOT of enthusiasm in the audience (and, presumably the audience at home!)

But from the look of your face I can see why you might be jealous of them. (Ooh - low blow? No lower than you insulting Fern's dress sense of all things! For God's sake it was for charity, there were more important things to think about than who had the best frock.)

By Laura.. Posted March 15 2009 at 5:28 PM.

Well said Ann David Tennant was excellent on comic relief funny,vibrant and natural-lovely guy ..

By Jo.. Posted March 15 2009 at 12:06 PM.

just wanted to comment david tennant was brilliant i loved his presenting skills hes a fun energetic guy i loved him jumping around made me laugh thats why i love him so get a life

By deborah ewing.. Posted March 15 2009 at 2:24 PM.

Just want to comment on Tennant and his so called childish behaviour...
Well as someone who has seen the countless video diaries and Doctor Who confidential programmes, this behaviour is DT, a child in a man's body, bubbly, energetic, and darn right crazy...
And love him for it!!!!!!
So yes basically I loved his presenting skills as well, because he doesn't put on an act....

By Ann s.. Posted March 14 2009 at 11:34 PM.

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