Hugh Grant & the vice girls*

*Star's girlie bar blunder wrecks Divine night out

By Neville Thurlbeck & Lewis Panther

POOR old Hugh Grant. All he wanted was a quiet night out on a golfing holiday... but he ended up making a Hugh-GE mistake.

The unwitting A-lister, single for months, clearly thought the Habana Club in Puerto Banus was a divine spot to meet young ladies, soak up the local booze—sorry, culture—and enjoy polite conversation.

So he'll be mortified to discover that the establishment is well-known to locals as a pick up joint and his attractive drinking companions were PROSTITUTES... all of them.

Which would be the LAST thing he'd want after the high profile arrest for lewd behaviour with LA hooker Divine Brown in 1995 which still haunts him to this day.

But hapless Hugh seemed to have no idea of the buzz he created among the vice girls and pole dancers plying their trades in the Spanish bar. He ordered a drink and watched the gyrating strippers for a bit.

Then the unsuspecting Love Actually star wandered over to Brazilian prostitute Alvina Sabino, 35, who was sitting at a table.

She said: "He was a bit drunk and he joked he would like to kiss me. My boyfriend was at another table so I told him I couldn't.

"He put me on his leg, and I was sitting on his knee and he was laughing that he would make my boyfriend jealous by kissing me.

Charms

"I was with him for an hour but I couldn't accept a drink even though he wanted to buy me one."

After getting nowhere with Alvina, Hugh, who split with heiress Jemima Khan earlier this year, tried his charms with her blonde pal.

Curious customers saw him play with the girl's hair, slip his arm around her waist and whisper in her ear. They were joined by a brunette lookalike of Hugh's ex Liz Hurley. He chatted to them for a couple of hours and ended up dancing with the dark-haired girl (below).

But he failed to spot their line of work—and the only thing he offered to pay for was their drinks.

Alvina said the girls he chatted up were also prostitutes. "They both work as dancers and charge 300 (£215) to go back to hotels with men," she said."They make really good money as they are very classy.

"They said they were very flattered that Hugh Grant wanted to spend so much time in their company. But they won't talk about what he said."

But the women at the sex-for-sale bar he innocently visited have been having a good laugh about his blooper.

Alvina added: "All of us were giggling about it afterwards." Hugh's blunder took place two weeks ago on a night off from a golf holiday with pals in the millionaire's playground, near Marbella.

The club is just a stone's throw away from a harbour packed with massive yachts.

So to help Hugh sort nice girls from vice girls in future we checked out the Habana to see if we could spot a few clues to where he'd gone wrong.

Under no circumstance should you enter a bar, Hugh, if any of the following conditions apply:

1 - It is PACKED with middle-aged men ogling heavily made-up girls half their age.

2 - Many of those girls are dressed in tiny RED RUBBER hotpants.

3 - There is a dark room at the back where MORE scantily clad girls appear to be loitering with intent.

Happy to help!